Telltale Signs that You May be Married to a Narcissist

Pleasanton CA family lawYes, the term narcissist is overused a bit these days. However, narcissistic behaviors or tendencies can come in various forms and degrees of severity. We’re not saying your ex or your partner are a full blown Narcissus, but there is value in informing yourself of signs that can betray abusive or manipulative tendencies. 

Today. We want to cover a wide variety of potential tendencies or behaviors that are common in narcissistic individuals. This can help you check your own feelings about your current marriage and/or divorce, as well as equip you with the tools to identify abusive and mitigate abusive behavior. 

In no particular order, here’s some common traits and tendencies that might clue you in to the fact that your spouse/partner/ex is a narcissist:


  • Everything is about him/her: Does your partner always talk about him or herself? Do you find your conversations always pivoting back to themselves, even in unrelated topics? If so, this might hint at a narcissistic view of the world where everything is secondary to how they feel.



  • He/she was initially extremely likeable: If your partner was first really charming and likeable, but things changed slowly over time, this is a definite red flag. Narcissists know how to win over people and let their true colors shine when that person has become dependant on them. 



  • Your partner loves to namedrop: Narcissists are often obsessed with upward social mobility, and everyone knows that the easiest way towards that is to namedrop cool and important people. 



  • The social media addiction is real: This is self-explanatory, but the social media feedback loop directly rewards you by increasing your reach. In other words, it game-ifies getting attention from others, which naturally draws every type of narcissist out there.



  • A heavy emphasis on looks: Does your partner spend a lot of time getting ready, picking out specific (possibly luxurious) outfits, and making sure they always look their best. This isn’t a red flag by itself, but paired with other behaviors can show someone’s inner obsession with being liked/admired.



  • There is an imbalance of taking: Selfish people love to take but they don’t care much for giving back. If you often notice an imbalance where your partner takes more than they provide, whether this is in rent money, food, conversation, or even affection, they could be deliberately basking in the one-sided nature of your relationship.


Divorcing a Narcissist is Not Always Easy

Narcissists, by their very nature, make everything more difficult than it has to be. But one thing they can’t do is bully around the legal court system, or a dedicated and tenacious family law attorney. 

If you’re considering a divorce from your selfish and self-centered spouse, or are currently embroiled in a challenging divorce, know that we at the Law Offices of James P. White are here to help. Call us today to schedule  a free initial consultation.