There isn’t really a single set of parameters that can predict whether a divorce is impending. Every relationship is unique and people interact differently with one another. In many cases, what may seem like a red flag in one relationship could simply be a minor hiccup in another.
With that said, marriage counselors have observed that some factors are more likely to predict a divorce than others. So while there isn’t a simple answer, there is still merit to looking at patterns that surface in couples who do actually get a divorce.
Today’s post is a look at some of the factors that marriage counselors consider to be the biggest “red flags.” Of course, when it comes to stats you have to remember this is a big picture view. For specific guidance relevant to your situation or needs, always take the time to talk to a family law attorney in CA.
That said, here’s some warning signs that a relationship could be in trouble and headed towards divorce.
Hostility and Contempt
Everyone gets into fights, including family, friends, and spouses. However a heated discussion isn’t the same as genuine contempt. When people genuinely feel disrespect or lack of value for another person, this can show in the words that they use when they are upset at that party. Contempt can be very difficult to break through as it is a thorough disregard for that person and their happiness/needs.
The Silent Treatment
We all need time to cool down, but if you find yourself against a wall when you try to fix problems, your relationship might be in a bad spot. Someone who shuts down or refuses to communicate is often “checked out.” More specifically, this means they are unwilling to put in any effort and have come to a finalized conclusion that they are not likely to revisit.
A Lack of Sexual Intimacy
The frequency of sexual encounters can ebb and flow in any relationship, and sexual drives do misalign from time to time. That said, a complete lack of any intimacy can be a warning sign. This is often related to a lack of emotional intimacy, which points to deeper pictures.
Untreated Addiction and Substance Abuse
Whether it’s drugs, porn, gambling, or any other form of addiction, this is the type of problem that consumes relationships fully. If your partner is not willing to at least try, there is no amount of support or love that can resolve these issues on their own. He/she needs to be willing to acknowledge the problem and try to make changes, otherwise the relationship might not be salvageable.
It’s perfectly normal to see other attractive people and realize they are attractive. But many marriage counselors have pointed out that, if your partner is constantly thinking about other potential relationships, this could in fact be a sign that he/she isn’t happy with the relationship. It’s not a definite sign, but constantly thinking about others is certainly a slippery slope that can chip away at the foundation of your relationship over time.
Talk to a Family Law Attorney in CA Today
At the Law Offices of James P. White, we’ve helped clients navigate difficult divorce and family law problems and issues for years. We provide free initial consultations, where each client can ensure that we’re the right fit for them