Helping Your Family Adjust to a Joint Custody Arrangement

Pleasanton CA divorce attorneyThe dust is finally settling and you and the ex are moving to a joint custody arrangement where you both share equal custody of your children. While this approach is often ideal to protect their interests and well-being, the transition itself is not always so easy. This is further complicated by bickering adults, having to adjust to new schedules/lives, having to deal with the sense of loss for the family unit, and more. 

Simply put, transitioning to a joint custody arrangement can be a rocky and difficult road. We wanted to acknowledge that with today’s post, where we’re discussing ways to help you and your family adjust to your new post-divorce arrangements. 

How Can I Help Ensure a Smooth Transition for My Family?

Both parents need to maintain good communication. Effecitve coordination is key when it comes to going back and forth between homes, ensuring schedules are adhered to, making sure one or both parents attend key events, and more. Make sure you and the ex are able to rise above any conflict and focus on the priorities that matter the most.

Don’t get the kids involved in conflicts or use them as a messenger between you and the ex. Unfortunately, this is a common scenario when one or both parents refuses to let the feud die down. This will only confuse and frustrate your child, and can harm the relationship between him/her and both parents.

Avoid negative discussions, gossiping, disparaging the ex, and other unnecessary conflict. Even in cases where the ex is going against your wishes or making it difficult for the both of you to stick to the custody plan, you should avoid talking bad or venting about the ex to the kids. There are ways to address his/her bad faith actions but none of these require getting the children involved in the conflict. 

Approach the new arrangement with an open mind. Your attitude will have an influece on how your kids react and adapt to the new custody arrangements. If you approach this with a positive mind and attitude, you’ll find that this can significantly help ease the transition and may even encourage the ex to be a bit more cooperative.

Our Family Law Attorneys Can Help Your With Custody Issues in CA

We hope these tips help you and your loved ones navigate these new uncharted waters. All that being said, there are times where a joint arrangement isn’t working or is actively working against the interests of the child. In these instances, its important that you seek the counsel of a qualified family law attorney to help you plot out next steps. 

At the Law Offices of James P. White, we’re here to help you with these and all other custody matters, as well as any issues relating to family law.